Seeing things differently
by bonesmad
Summary: Mel gets a bit of a rude awakening when she starts thinking of the future in an odd way
1. Chapter 1

"_Brady come on finish up your! The car is leaving." She said picking up his lunch box and holding it out. _

"_I'm almost ready." He said finishing off his toast._

"_mommy I cant find my shoes!" a call came from the door. _

"_Nella go back upstairs and look under your bed you're leaving soon!" she sighed and picked up her cup of coffee. _

"_Brady are you…"_

"_I'm done mom." She turned to find the twelve year old putting his plate into the dishwasher. _

"_Trevor is waiting for you two outside! I have to get to work. Love you darling." She said kissing the top of his head. _

"_Mom god!" he rubbed his hair. She smiled. Her youngest child walked down the stairs just as her brother closed the kitchen door. _

"_Ah there you are." She smiled and passed on the pink little box. _

"_Thank you mommy. Did daddy make my lunch?" She smiled at the little gap tooth smile. _

"_of course he did! You know he loves to. Have a good day darling." She kissed the top of her head. And with that the two children were gone. The door burst open and she jumped back. _

"_Are they gone did I miss them!" he panted trying to tie his cuffs._

"_Yes they are sorry. Trevor was waiting."_

"_Oh well I'll see them tonight." She smiled and putting down her cup walked over to straighten his tie. _

"_So how is the first husband today." She grinned and kissed him lightly. _

"_I told you. Its Mr Longo!" he arched an eyebrow. _

"_Yes Mr Longo sorry Mr Longo." She stepped back and picked back up her coffee._

"_Right Mrs Longo shouldn't you be heading to the office!" she sighed. _

"_Yes the traffic in the hall is crazy at this time of the day." He laughed. _

"_Have a good day running the country Burke. I'm heading to Lennox's with the kids after work so I'll be late." She smiled at the now old nickname._

"_Try not to get involved in any scandals please." Over fifteen years later it still stung him a little. She refilled her mug and smiling walked out of the kitchen. _

She jerked up in bed with a knot in her stomach and a rushing in her head. What was that! She blinked a few times and pushed back her hair. That was it no more wine before bed. That was the craziest dream she'd ever encountered. Married to Joe, with kids, in the white house! God the subconscious could be messed up. She frowned all through her morning routine, and all the way down to the kitchen. She couldn't understand what had brought it on.

"morning burke." Joe said jogging down the stairs. She felt her cheeks flush for no apparent reason and she looked down into her cup.

"Morning. I better go."

"See you later. Have a good day running the country!" he laughed and opened the fridge. She froze for a second and felt a warm feeling wash over her at the now familiar words. Shaking her head she sighed. How could a dream have her so messed up.


	2. Chapter 2

She'd spent the day thinking about that dream. Yes she'd been questioning her feelings for Joe over the past few months, but she certainly hadn't thought about a future with him, children with him. She genuinely hadn't.

"Eh Mel… you still here?" her secretary waved a hand in front of her face. She shook her head and blinked.

"Sorry yes. What?"

"Where is your head today?" she laughed.

"Have you ever had a strange dream and it just kinda throws you off for a bit." Stephanie thought for a second then nodded.

"no… no I haven't." the nod turned into a shake.

"Well that's what's wrong."

"Well I was just asking would it be alright if I headed home."

"Oh of course!" she looked at her phone. "Is that the time! Sorry Stephanie."

"Don't worry we had so much paperwork to do." She smiled. "I'll see you in the morning.

She took much longer than usual packing up her things; idling as much as she could to avoid the embarrassment she knew would feel when they came face to face again. She blushed just thinking about how natural it had been to straighten his tie, let him kiss her cheek, and their kids, they'd seemed so perfect.

/ / /

"Hey Burke, you're late home." Joe said looking up from the sink.

"Yeah busy day" she put down her back and tried to get to the wine without looking at him.  
"You alright Burke?" he asked. "You look all red."

"I'm fine. Tired. Wine. Bed." She said quickly grabbing a glass.

"I'd like a glass too actually." He dried his hands.

Sighing she grabbed another glass and filling it quickly she shoved it at him.

"Thanks." He ignored her behaviour. "oh before I forget to tell you I wont be here tomorrow I'm going out with Tasha again." He smiled.

"Wow she's been around a while now! What two months." She said finally looking at him.

"Yes she's, she's quite a woman." He grinned and she felt her face falling into a frown.

"Very good."

"I think she might stick." He nodded.

"ok Longo I get it!" she threw up her hands, "god not everything's about your love life!" she put her glass into the sink and throwing off her shoes headed to the stairs. "goodnight!"

"Goodnight Burke." He frowned watching as she headed up the stairs.

/ / / /

"_Ryder do you want a lift to work or what!" she shouted up the stairs. _

"_I can't find my uniform!" he shouted back. _

"_Well did you wash it?" she leaned on the banisters. _

"_No…"_

"_It's in the wash basket then!" she rolled her eyes. "I have to get to work Ryder! Come on!"_

_the kitchen door opened and Lennox walked slowly in. _

"_Aunt Mel my stomach is killing me! Will you pick up some more ant-acids on the way home please." She said rubbing her now fully swollen belly. Mel's stomach dropped when she looked at her still young niece. Ready to pop now. Dropped out of college to have a baby. She'd really failed there. Nothing she could do now but support her. _

"_Why cant you go pick them up? I wont be back until at least nine."_

"_oh I will actually, Tash is picking me up in an hour I'll ask her if we can stop at the pharmacy. I wont be too late I want to do some writing tonight, try all the papers again." She eased herself down onto a chair. _

"_Tash?" she shoved her things into her handbag._

"_ya I'm spending the day and Joe's house. Tash said I should spend some time with little Sofia try and get myself ready. Joe's away at some conference so I'm going to give her a hand."_

"_That's… that's nice." Mel sighed. Lennox stoop up and headed to the _

"_There's no bowls." Lennox sighed and opened the fridge. "or milk." _

"_I'll go shopping later." Mel scraped her hair up into a ponytail, grooming was a luxury long forgotten. "And Ryder was meant to wash up. RYDER IM LEAVING."  
he bounded down the stairs apron in hand. _

"_I'm here I'm here." Ah there was her other failure. Ryder finished school with no idea what he wanted to do, last year he'd decided to take a year out, she'd supported him, and now he was on his second._

"_Right lets go!" she grabbed her keys._

"_AUNT MEL!" Lennox called as they went out the door. _

"_Yes." She said wearily. _

"_Phones dead. You must have forgotten to pay the bill again.." she closed the door and rested her head against the glass. _

_/ / /_

Her alarm went off not a moment too soon in her opinion. She sat up and her heart dropped. Really was someone out to torture her or something. God things would never get that bad could they! Even if Joe ever left, which of course he was going to eventually. She got dressed and got ready for work with dark thoughts looming around her.

They didn't need Joe that much did they! Did this entire family really rely on him so badly that it would collapse without him. How could she ever make him stay. He shouldn't be working here. All this frowning was going to give her wrinkles.


	3. Chapter 3

Lennox rubbed her eyes and opened her door after finally giving into the knocking, but she found no one there, just a post-it on the door, _FAMILY MEETING 10AM. _She sighed and grabbing a jumper headed down the stairs. She arrived in the kitchen just in time to see Joe throwing a similar post-it in the bin.

"She left mine on the pans. I'd be insulted except I'm so impressed she knew where they were!" he laughed at his own little joke.

"What did we do now?" Lennox asked sitting at the table.

"I have no idea."

"Whatever it was it wasn't me!" Ryder said coming down the steps, hair on end.

"Ah Mel there you are!" Joe said as the living room door opened. "The rebel and the druggie here are dying to know what's up."

"Right if everyone could sit down I'll let you know what this is all about." She said seriously as she sat on the chair next to Lennox's. This was the culmination of a weeks worth of thinking and debating and she wanted it to be the right idea. She saw Ryder and Joe glance at each other before sitting down and she tried to decide where to start.

"Ready when you are Burke!"

"Right well I have been sorting a lot of things out lately what with the new job prospects I might have coming up, and one of those things was my will. I decided to finally put everything down on paper and well, while the house and my shoes were easy enough to organize there was one thing that was obviously a lot harder. You two!" she said looking at her niece and nephew who were growing more puzzled by the second. "I know the two of you are almost adults yourselves. But if anything happened me tomorrow I want to make sure that I've organised everything right…"

"Aunt Mel are you sick or something?" Ryder asked.

"No, no I just want… well I realised that there isn't too many people I would trust with that. I mean I know I'm far from perfect but I love you two, and I know I don't want my parents messing you up and then it hit me…" she looked across the table directly at Joe. "…You. I want to make you Lennox and Ryder's other legal guardian" Joe's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"Burke…"

"No I know I know it's a big deal! I was going to talk to you alone about it but they're old enough to have a say. What do you think." She really hoped he couldn't see the desperation in her eyes, prayed that he wouldn't realise that this was coming from a fear of losing him.

"I… I would be honoured." He said shrugging. "But I mean you two…" looking at the two teenagers he was thrilled to see huge smiles across their faces.

"I think that's perfect!" Lennox said for the both of them.

a weight lifted from Mel and she found herself beaming too. Once again she wondered was she just being selfish, was she afraid he'd leave them and she wouldn't be able to manage. Was she essentially trapping him? Looking again at the smiles on the three of their faces she let herself relax. Whatever the motive, It was making them all happy.

/ / / /

"_Oh just go! You've been waiting years to get out, so go!"_

"_You're right I've been dying to get out of YOUR house since I first got here."_

"_Well no ones stopping you now!" she shouted, opening the back door. _

"_You don't mean that." He shook his head with a little laugh that only made her more mad. _

"_I am deadly serious this time Joe. Leave." Yes they'd fought before but this time she was done. _

"_Oh look at you pushing away the one real relationship you've ever had!"_

"_Oh stop it! You pretend like you know me inside out and you try and think for me and I hate it!"_

"_I think after five years I can say I do know you! I know you're a coward, throwing me out at the first sign of trouble! Well I hope you know what you're doing Mel." She was seeing red now; blood was rushing round her head. _

"_Oh I am finally seeing clearly. I can't believe I thought I loved you" she snarled, almost scaring herself. His jaw clenched before her eyes, a sight that used to make her weak. "Get out!" she yelled, as the door shut behind him she let herself slide down the wall tears streaking her cheeks. Her breathing was heavy and the sobs were uncontrollable. Mel Burke had done a lot of things over the years, but she'd never ever sobbed over a man. Until then. _

_/_

"_Hey Len I was thinking we could meet Ryder and go for dinner tomorrow night." She said down the phone, she still wasn't used to having them both away at college and after a week of having the house to herself she wanted to see them. _

"_Oh Aunt Mel well… am… we're actually busy."_

"_Both of you?"_

"_Well we're going with Joe to look at apartments. He's looking to get one near where Xander and I are, so they're coming up to stay with us."_

"_Oh right well…"_

"_I mean it's not that we don't want to see you but Joe…"_

"_no, no I know I kicked him out! He needs somewhere to stay. I'll talk to you later Lennox." Hanging up the phone she once again found her knees weakening, she fell praying the couch was as close as she hoped. _

_/ / /_

Mel jolted up with that awful feeling of falling pulling her from her sleep. Her stomach was once again in knots and her head was thumping. Her throat felt like she had actually been yelling the night before, and the feelings she'd felt in the dream had carried through. Flying to her bathroom all she found was an empty aspirin bottle. Mindlessly heading to the kitchen she avoided looking too deeply into the latest dream.

"morning official co-parent." Joe said as he expertly flipped a pancake. Everything stiffened as she saw him standing exactly where he had been shouting at her from during the night. She wasn't mad at him, she couldn't be it was a dream, but she found she was terrified. All these feelings were piling up inside her, and she didn't know what to do with them. at the time she'd brushed the panic and want to keep him around, off as for the good of the four of them. but now she realised it was entirely and completely selfish. She was in love with him and it petrified her.


End file.
